


Well, what the Hell

by midnightfeast



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Valentine's Day, escape room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightfeast/pseuds/midnightfeast
Summary: Madara's and Tobirama's first Valentine's Day dinner is disrupted when Hashirama decides to take them to an escape room.
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	Well, what the Hell

**Author's Note:**

> A quick little something I wrote way too fast so I could publish it today, because I was in the mood for some fun family/romantic fluff :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it anyway!

“I still don't understand how you got this reservation.” Madara moaned around the last bite of ssam - a sesame leaf wrap with grilled pork, veggies, kimchi and sauce. “And who did you have to sleep with to get a table for Valentine's Day?”

Tobirama laughed, winked over the top of his glass of soju and leaned a little more onto the table. “I'm glad you like it.”

Madara gave him a look. Tobirama knew he liked it, because he had told him during their last get-together at Hashirama's that he wanted to `try out the fancy korean place at the corner´. And here they sat now in a tastefully decorated corner of the booked-out restaurant, a table grill between them and a variety of korean barbeque essentials around them.

It was not the most traditional dinner place for Valentine's Day, but well... since when did they do traditional?

While it wasn't technically their first date, the sense of novelty was still strong enough to make Madara's skin itch with nervous excitement.

They'd met at various places before, just to talk in peace out of reach from noisy siblings, but since they'd known each other for literal years, the transition from somewhat-friendship to romance was simultaneously more and less awkward, and Madara didn't even know how. Madara liked him and Tobirama liked him too. That could've been enough to pursue this romance like any other.

But Tobirama was his best-friend's little brother - and maybe more concerning to him, his little brother's best-friend - and even though there was nothing about Tobirama that was `little´ or vulnerable (they were both in their twenties afterall), Madara still had had reservations when Tobirama had asked him on a date first.

By now, those were gone. Tobirama had argued a strong case and then had asked him a second time. And Madara had said `yes´.

And now almost two weeks had passed and this was the fourth official date and the seventh time they've seen each other over the course of these 13 day and, yes, Madara was pretty sure they could actually work. (If only Hashirama stopped making dying-whale-noises everytime their hands touched, not to mention kisses.)

Tobirama had rolled up his sleeves to reaveal nice forearms. “I wish I could say, it was due to my charm that we got a table tonight, but this place belongs to one of my trainee's parents. I called in a favour.”

“Torifu Akimichi?”

“Yes, did Kagami tell you about him?”

“Mh.” Through his own lashes, he mustered Tobirama, but evaded his eyes when he noticed immediately, playfully coy. “Buy me dessert and maybe...” Madara deliberately kept his gaze on the pieces of beef on the grill as Tobirama turned them with tongs. “Maybe I'll show my appreciation once we're at your place.”

Bold, but that was simply how Madara was.

The only visual reaction Tobirama gave was a small twitch of his smile and a long look from underneath his lashes. He sat down his glass and took some more kimchi to grill it on the side. “We'll have to be quick to order then, their Songpyeon is high in demand.”

Tobirama knew him too well. Those small rice cakes, especially those with peanut or matcha filling, were his favourite. “Let's order away then.”

They waved down a waitress.

Still, there was plenty of food left, korean barbeque was supposed to be enjoyed slowly and in good company after all, but with a plate of sweets already waiting, Madara felt better already. “Do you have plans for your birthday?”

“My parents want to treat me and my siblings to dinner after work.”

“So if I were to invite you out for lunch...”

“I would be happy to accept.”

“You know, we should try that new sushi place next. Do you happen to know the owners too?”

Tobirama's smile twitched in amusement, but he kept an otherwise calm exterior. “The one by the port?”

“I've heard they serve fish so fresh, you can watch it swim minutes before it lands on your plate.”

“You don't need to convince me, I'm already hooked.” Tobirama turned several sizzeling pieces of beaf and served him the juciest directly from the grill. “I look forward to it.”

When Madara came back from the bathroom, Tobirama stared at his phone with annoyed wrinkles on his forehead. Immediately, Madara knew that something was up.

Instead of sitting down in his seat, he stopped next to Tobirama to run a hand through his hair and pull him in for comfort. “Everything alright?”

“My brother called.”

Well, Tobirama only had one brother tactless enough to call on Valentine's Eve when he knew the person was out on a date. “What does he want? Why isn't he annyoing Mito?”

“She got called in for an emergency and he's alone at home. He wants us to meet him outside in ten minutes.” Tobirama definitely sounded unhappy about that and Madara had to agree.

After a day of working and socialising, Tobirama was drained and Madara himself was not in the mood to deal with his idiotic best friend. They had plans to go back to Tobirama's place for some tea, some more small talk, maybe more... Certainly not Hashirama. “We'll tell him to fuck off and bother us some other day.” When Tobirama sighed and ran a hand down his face, Madara had handed him a iced glass of water. “Stay put, I'll take care of the bill.”

Tobirama's head shot up. “No, I invited you out. I should be the one paying.”

Madara had already stood and pressed him back into his seat. “Another day.”

Tobirama fumbled with the keys to his apartment already as they walked across the carpark deep in conversation. “-and that actually reduced our chances of-”

Someone honked their car's horn and flashed the frontlights at them, so Tobirama and Madara stopped and stared.

“Hey!” Hashirama sounded way to cheerful as he leaned out of the car to wave them over as if they hadn't seen him and decided to keep far away. “Jump in! I have a surprise.”

“No.” Only just in that second Madara saw Izuna, sulking in the passenger-seat. “What do you want? Why is Izuna here?”

Izuna had had plans to study the night away, because university didn't care for romantic endeavours and his exams were impending.

“I planned something really cool! You'll enjoy it, I promise.”

“No.”

“Mads, please. I bought our tickets already and I can't refund. I'll lose fifty bucks.”

“Not my problem. You brought this onto yourself.”

“Tobes.” Hashirama's lower lip trembled. “You'll love it.”

“Hashirama, we actually had plans, you realise that?” Madara intercepted and stepped closer to Tobirama to present a joined front.

“It's already past ten, what could you have possibly plan-” And Hashirama's mouth froze and his eyes widened. “Nooo.”

“Hashi, go home.” Tobirama's gaze was firm and scolding. “You should plan events like this ahead. Or if you need to surprise us, at least don't do it on a day _you know_ we're already doing something else.”

“Goodbye.” Madara started walking and Tobirama dragged along. Madara carefully ignored Izuna, who tried to send him some sort of very aggressive message. Maybe he was jealous they talked themselves out of this so efficiently.

Just as they were about to step onto the sidewalk, Hashirama called out and delivered his final knock-out argument. “Tobes, you still owe me form that Christmas debacle or do you want Granny to know what happened to her well-loved armchair?”

Tobirama turned around fast as a bullet. “No, you wouldn't.”

“Maybe.”

Tobirama's eyes narrowed. “You're bluffing.”

“Maybe.”

A second passed and Madara held his breath, then Tobirama grabbed his shoulder and bodily moved him towards the car. Hashirama whooped with glee and got back behind the wheel.

Tobirama threw him the most horrible look, ripped the door open and slid right in and over to give Madara space to sit down too.

Hashirama turned back to them and grinned. “I swear, you won't regret it.”

Madara wasn't so sure about that.

The entire twenty minute car ride was awful. Tobirama kept his eyes closed, arms crossed and either meditated or power napped, either way, it did not stop Hashirama from holding a monologue.

Izuna kept staring at Madara angrily and Madara kept staring out the window to try and ignore the current situation. (And to figure out where they were heading.)

Whatever Hashirama had planned, it would be atrocious.

A fucking escape room.

Only God knows how Hashirama thought he would get out alive after being locked in a room with them for an hour.

Not often had Madara seen Tobirama in a mood as sour as this. They got out of the car into the cold and stared at the blinking sign above a glass door.

Tobirama was normally more tempered. Even when he grew annoyed, he kept tight control on his exterior and consciously refrained to judge a situation too quickly, but right now his jaw was tenser than normal and his brows were drawn into a frown.

It would take an awful lot more to truly have his resolve break, but one of the only people to even get him to this point was Hashirama and he was right on track to push him over the edge.

The entrance to `The Escape Room´ (what a creative name) was behind a tattoo shop and some smelly dumpsters and Madara was freezing. He had only brought his thin jacket, because there hadn’t been a reason to stand in the cold in the middle of February until now.

Hashirama kept speaking to someone over the speaker at the door and Izuna kept talking to someone on the phone (maybe he called Kawarama for backup, maybe Hashirama’s parents to tell them what they had raised their son into, maybe his study-mates to tell them he wouldn't be home for a while).

Tobirama and he had distanced themselves a little from the entrance to sulk in peace, but all Madara could concentrate on was the rat on the other side of the street looking through the trash, the way his fingers stiffened with every freezing breeze and the thought of how to get back at Hashirama for this.

Something warm and soft was around Madara's neck.

He startled and glanced up, but Tobirama was still busy arranging the white scarf, he himself had been wearing, over Madara's shoulders so he could hide his cold-red cheeks inside.

It was soft, still warm from when it had been wrapped around Tobirama's neck not ten seconds ago and it smelled like him. “Aren’t you cold now?”

Tobirama shrugged, stepped closer and slid his own hands into the pockets of Madara’s jacket to lace their fingers. “No, I’m fine. And I'm sorry.”

Madara cocked his head and leaned in closer. “What for?”

“For this.”

“There is no way to foresee your brother's idiocy. Hashirama is a special specimen.” Well, it was easy to feel some of the irritation go when Tobirama looked so apologetic. “No worries. I intend to get this over with as fast as possible and then I have plans for us.”

“Mh, I hope those involve a bed.”

“As a matter of fact, they do. Maybe a nice bottle of wine first, some chocolate.”

“No roses?” A tiny smile edged onto Tobirama's mouth at that trick question. Tobirama was allergic to those.

“And have your eyes swell closed and nose running? I bought you a scented candle, that should suffice.”

Tobirama laughed and gave him a kiss.

Somewhere behind them Hashirama gasped theatrically.

The dude that greeted them at the door seemed bored out of his mind. Earbuds in one ear and music playing so loud, all of them could hear it, it dragged the mood down even further.

If Hashirama noticed the tension, he chose not to let on. “Hello, we booked for Senju. 10.30pm was our starting time.”

The guy threw a glance at his paper, turned and waved them on to follow him through a long hallway with bad lighting.

They passed a door with crooked letters that read `toilet´ and into a room with a bench and lockers which the dude pointed at. “Lock your things in here. No phones, no jackets, no bags unless you want to accidentally hang yourself. And put these on.” He gave them gloves and plastic bags to put around their shoes.

Madara and Tobirama shared a look.

How fun.

They followed his instructions begrudgingly.

The guy led them into a tiny hallway and stopped in front of a door. “Have any of you ever been to an escape room?”

Hashirama said no, Izuna shook his head, Madara chose to cross his arms and Tobirama stared daggers at his brother.

The guy mustered them, stared at his board and scratched his brow. “Uhm… well, you choose the `Spaceship´ which is our hardest room and you’re already ten minutes late, so… you will probably not _escape_ it in time, normally you'd need the entire hour to win, but I will try to help you along with hints to at least get you close.” There was a hint of a scold, but mostly he really fucking didn’t care.

He pointed at a series of things glued to the wall that looked like smoke detector and a fire extinguisher. “These are things you will find inside the room that have nothing to do with the game. They are there by safety requirements, so don't pull or press them. Don’t pull off anything that doesn’t come off with moderate force. Don’t touch the ceiling. And, please, if you need to use the bathroom, tell me and don’t just pee in a corner.”

“What?” Izuna blurted out what Madara had been thinking.

“Any more questions? No? Great, enjoy.” The man ignored them and opened the door.

Hashirama was the first that strode past them into a room with a big smile.

Madara and Tobirama glanced at each other while Izuna waited for them to take the first step, but after a second of eye contact, Izuna didn’t want to watch them in their silent argument like that, so he followed second.

No matter how annoyed or angry, Tobirama so far had never pulled away his hand when Madara reached for it and he didn't do it now that Madara took hold of his pinky. They stayed there for a second, the dude behind them clearly uncomfortable, but Madara didn’t care when he leaned against Tobirama and whispered. “Are you okay?”

“Hn.” Tobirama scoffed, but pressed his fingers so Madara counted that as a victory. 

“Fifty minutes and then we’re free to plan our revenge.”

“I’ll ship him to Alaska and make sure he gets a haircut on the way.”

A small smile played on Madara’s lips and he pressed his hand. “Exactly, fifty minutes to endure and we'll show him.”

The dude behind them cleared his throat. “Actually, we aren't obliged to entertain you for longer than you need to escape the room. If you’re out faster than the estimated time we won’t refund.”

Madara lifted a brow. “So the sooner we finish the sooner we’re out?”

The guy nodded. Well, if that wasn't motivation.

The room looked like someone had stolen it from a movie set of a bad Star Trek and Star Wars immitation. The metallic floor was worn already, panels and shimmering surfaces everywhere. Buttons and lights blinked rhythmically, a fake glass window with a picture of outer space behind it.

Some riddles were obvious, others would probably be hidden somewhere.

“We need to do this methodically, otherwise we'll be stuck here forever.” Madara tried to reaffirm, meanwhile Hashirama hurried through the room with a lot of energy and excitement. 

“Okay, how about we check everything first.” Hashirama said, but was already pressing along the walls, Izuna gave Madara a questioningly look, but he only shrugged and so Izuna started searching the room too. 

The big silver clock above the door had started ticking.

Madara slid next to Tobirama who had leaned closer to a board on the wall of up to two-hundred points and the thirty different buttons. “You're okay?”

Boards with chemical formulas and mathematical calculations, it looked extremely complicated. The speaker cracked and the dude’s bored voice came through. “Actually, Sir, that is the final riddle. You’ll need to solve all the other clues first to get the necessary knowledge to solve it. Don't even bother trying it without those, I think it would take a computer to solve it in time.”

The speaker crackled again and silence wrapped around them.

Tobirama was too engrossed to care already, he pressed button after button to see which four lights lit up and which ones turned off, which cancelled what. “I'll help the others look around.”

Like so often when Tobirama was working, Madara got no more than a vague humming sound as an answer so he let him be.

Madara was sure, somewhere someone was telling this story as a joke.

“We shouldn't clump around the same puzzle.” Izuna muttered right as all three of them stared at the grit of nubs that Madara tried to navigate.

Madara gritted his teeth and tried not to sound too pissed. “Well then go and do something useful.”

“But we have to work as a team.” Hashirama complained.

“Team my ass. Tobi's not even listening to what we're doing.” Izuna complained half-heartedly.

Madara gave him an angry look over the shoulder. “Leave him alone. I don't think we'll be getting anywhere even with his help.”

“Great.”

“Guyyyys, stop fighting please.”

Both of them stared at Hashirama and muttered. “Shut up.”

Suddenly, the lock clicked and a door fell open to reveal another lock. “Izuna, can you look for the key?”

“Mads, do it yourself.”

“Oh, you little...” Madara heaved himself up, glared and walked over to the corner they had decided to store some key items in only to feel shock slide like ice down his back. “Hashirama, for fucks sake, did you throw all our key items onto the same pile?” A big pile of all items they had found already within the twenty minutes they had been stuck in there so far.

“Yes?”

“Then which ones did we already use?” Madara and Izuna had made the effort to put those away they were sure they'd never use again. Really, it was wise of Hashirama to stay by the door and not come over right now, because Madara was sure he would've strangled him on the spot.

Izuna however crouched down next to him and picked out a light-blue torch-stick. “I think we used this at the oxygen hatch.”

“You think or you know.”

“I think.” Izuna spat back and threw him an irritated glance. “Something you aren't doing right now.”

“Because this is a fucking disaster.”

“I found a message.” Hashirama bellowed across the room way too excited.

“Great, what does it say?”

“14 will leave us burritos.”

“Don't talk shit, what does the message say.”

“I literally just read it to you.”

“What?” Madara couldn't went over and together they stared at the writing that got visual under the uv light. “That has to be a joke.”

“I think it's a code.” Izuna added helpfully.

“But for what? Where would we even need this?”

“We only have thirty minutes left and only solved like ten riddles, we'll never get out of this.” Hashirama sulked.

“Well, what did you expect pigeon-brain?” Izuna spat and stared at him.

“Hey, you don't need to be mean.”

A loud noise disrupted them and they all whipped around to stare at Tobirama who stood in front of the blinking board that now vapoured some smoke.

“What did you do?” Izuna actually sounded tense.

“I got it.” Tobirama pressed the final button and the entire panel lit up.

Then he glanced around and after a second of tension, Madara did the same.

But nothing else happened.

“Mh.” Tobirama counted along his fingers. “Did I overlook something? I thought I calculated correctly...”

Then the speaker crackled. “Eh... you finished? Already?” Silence and a number of weird sounds in the back. “Well... eh... please take all your belongings and come to the front door. I'll let you out.”

Tuns out, no one had ever gotten out of that room as fast as they did so they got a voucher and a firm handshake.

Madara really didn't care. All he did was muster Tobirama's face and grow giddy with pride and glee. He couldn't wait to get back to his place.

“How did you do it?” Izuna asked yet again and Tobirama grunted even louder. 

“I simply thought it through. It wasn't that hard honestly.”

“Yeah, but how?”

Tobirama was growing annoyed. “I used my brain, what else do you want to hear?”

“Sick.”

Tobirama cracked open a single lid to stare at Izuna who had turned back to look at him. “Was that meant as a compliment?”

“Sort of. I knew you were smart, but I didn't know you were fucking Alan Turing.”

“Izuna. Enough.” Madara interjected.

Hashirama reluctantely parked in front of Tobirama's apartment before he turned back to look at them. “So, what else will you be doing tonight? Watch a movie? Tea?”

“Each other.” Tobirama deadpanned and opened the door.

Hashirama's face fell. “Noooo. Do you wanna go to a bar instead? We could play poker.”

“Good night Hashi. Get my brother home savely.” Madara closed the car's door rather forcefully.

Tobirama’s back hit the wall and Madara pressed him against it further. They had made it up the stairs and to the front of his apartment, but his keys still sat in a backpocket of his trousers.

“We shouldn’t be doing this here.” Tobirama mumbled, but Madara’s slender finger were already pressing between their bodies and fingering with the buttons of his trousers. This wasn't exactly against his will, in fact, he might have tightened his hold on Madara's waist to pull him closer.

Tobirama inhaled sharply and groaned as he felt a cold hand wrap itself around him.

Madara bit his lip, kissed him deeply, more tongue than lips and arched into Tobirama’s arms as they embrace his shoulders. “I couldn't wait.”

Two, three long motions and Tobirama moaned louder than he had wanted to, but when the motion sensor turned on the lights and foot steps haloed down the stairs, they sobered quickly.

Madara tucked him in, Tobirama pulled out his keys and they vanished into the privacy of Tobirama's aprtment.

As surprising as the evening had been, the end to the day was _oh so good_.


End file.
